Please stop telling my daughter she’s prettier than other girls.
When you do this, you’re teaching her that beauty is on some sort of competitive scale… a concept that doesn’t even exist in her mind right now – – – – unless you teach her.
Isn’t there enough jealousy, bitterness, and envy in the world already without raising up young girls to be pitted against one another from the start as they fight for that top spot – – one that doesn’t actually exist?!
I want my daughter’s confidence of her beauty to have absolutely nothing to do with how beautiful or how ugly someone else might be. Because the definition of beauty will always be different depending on whose eyes are looking. Because eventually someone more beautiful to those eyes might come along. Because perceptions of beauty are always changing depending on what country you find yourself in or what the current culture says is beautiful. Because our value isn’t in our external beauty anyway… and it always fades.
I believe that we as human beings have the capability to see the beauty in ourselves or others without ranking it or measuring it against another. We were all created on purpose. Uniquely. Beautifully. And not in competition with one another for that beauty.
What we have has nothing to do with what someone else does not have. We have it or we don’t. Let me say that again!
What we have has nothing to do with what someone else does or does not have.
And yes, I agree… my daughter has it!
But truly beautiful people know they’re beautiful regardless of how others look. They don’t say, “I’m beautiful because she is ugly…” Can you imagine? They simply know their beauty. And because they can walk in this confidence – a confidence that has nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with their internal world – they are free to call out the beauty in others without feeling that they are risking harm to their own confidence or self-worth.
So when you build up my daughter, yes, please remind her of her beauty… but NOT at the expense of another little girl.
When you build up my daughter, call out her kindness. Her bravery. Her determination. Her creativity. But NEVER at the expense of what someone is not.
Please feel free to compliment my daughter, but also never shy away from calling out the beauty and strengths of other girls and women she knows or meets.
Growing up with a beauty that shines from the inside out and isn’t reliant on anyone else for approval, I know that as my daughter grows, she’ll walk in confidence of who she is and will be able to look another girl in the eye and say, “Wow, you are stunning!”
He filled it to the brim.